Risque
by Canadino
Summary: I got birds in my ears and a devil on my shoulder and a phone to the other and I can't get a hold of her...what's a crush to do?


**Disclaimer: If Shaman King were mine, I wouldn't need to write fanfics. If any of these songs were mine, I wouldn't be writing fanfics.**

Background music: Risque – Cute is What we Aim For

Risqué 

_I got birds in my ears and a devil on my shoulder_

_And a phone to the other and I can't get a hold of her_

_What's a crush to do?_

Yoh groaned as he pulled out his cell phone. He was being such an idiot these days! If only he had known what Lyserg had meant that first time, he wouldn't have been in this situation. Scrolling through his list of contacts frantically, Yoh found the name he was looking for and quickly pressed dial.

The dial tone tortured him as it rang innocently in his ear.

Collapsing on the sofa in wait, Yoh kept the phone pressed against his ear and looked around the room as the tone continued. The sun was shining through the window and it seemed like a great day. If only he didn't feel so dense! He returned to reality as suddenly, a soft voice came through the phone.

"Hey. It's Lyserg. I can't come to the phone at the moment…I'm probably busy or I don't want to answer…I think you'd be able to figure it out…"

Yoh groaned. Even though the boy had created this answering machine message a few months ago, it sounded as if it had been aimed at him. He hung up and waited for a moment before dialing again.

At that moment, a tiny figure of Hao popped out of thin air next to him, grinning sarcastically decked in black with tiny bat wings and a pitchfork in one hand. "Yoh! Nice to see you again!"

"Go away," Yoh muttered, listening to the dial tone.

"He's not going to pick up, you know," Hao said smartly. "You may as well give up."

"Go away," Yoh muttered again. Hao strangely fell silent. Yoh repeated the silence, glancing up briefly as a sparrow flew into the room. Darn onsen sliding doors…birds took this as an invitation to just fly around the onsen at random times. Anna had already given up trying to scare them away and just put up with them. Yoh absent-mindedly held a finger up and the sparrow, recognizing it as the person who had scattered bread crumbs to attract the birds in the first place, flew up to him and stood on his finger. Yoh had already gotten friendly with these usual guests.

"Care to share what happened?" Hao asked again.

Yoh groaned as the same message played through the phone again. As he clapped it shut, he turned to Hao. "You can't just go away, can you?"

"What can I say? I'm just a manifestation of your conscience." Hao smirked. "It's not my fault I just took the form of your brother."

Yoh groaned again. "You're just like him."

"So…what happened this time?" Hao asked, annoying flying around Yoh's head, ignoring the boy's swatting.

"I was being dense again," Yoh said, deciding to give up trying to rid himself of this voice.

"Exaggerate."

Yoh turned to look at Hao with a thoughtful look. "You should know. You should have been there."

"Repeat it for the sake of repetition," Hao replied, rolling his eyes.

Cross that, this Hao was much more annoying.

"I was watching this thing with Lyserg today," Yoh said slowly. "Because…"

"You have a crush on him," Hao finished. "And you think he might feel the same way because you've been watching him and if you think you're reading the signs right, that blush on his face was because of you."

"Thank you for reading my mind," Yoh said scathingly. "Anyway, it was one of those cheesy date movies and suddenly he turns to me, all serious, and goes, "Who do you like?" And I'm caught up in the moment and I'm not even thinking straight so instead of doing the most obvious thing and telling him, I look at him funny and say, 'Someone who can make a skirt look good.' Oh, geez!" Yoh moaned, causing the three birds who had perched on him to flap up for a moment before settling back on him again. He was kind of like a tree to them. A tall, warm, moving tree. The birds looked at each other before cocking their heads as if they were listening to the conversation again.

"Oh. Bad move there," Hao laughed, his laugh a harsh chuckle from his dark mouth. The devil made it worse by clutching his stomach and laughing out louder. "That was so stupid of you! Why would you sound so sexist?"

"I don't know. I didn't know it made him feel bad. He acted normal after that and I didn't really think much after that until he said he had to go home really quick after the movie was over." Yoh shook his head. After he had played the words over and over in his mind again, he had realized his mistake and was trying to undo the damage. But now it seemed that Lyserg was shunning him.

"And for good reason too," Hao added irritatingly. "Honestly, why do you even think you have a chance?"

Yoh wasn't very sure himself. But Lyserg had been giving him those cute little smiles that he couldn't help but convince himself that maybe, just maybe, Lyserg was trying to return his feelings. But now it had all collapsed around him. Horrible.

"Call him one more time," the bird on his head chirped. Great. Now the birds were turning into one of the voices in his head. The other two birds nodded in reply.

"After all, you consider birds angels since they can fly high into heaven," Hao quoted.

Yoh pressed redial and the room became silent as they all waited in a hushed silence. When the message machine came on again, Yoh took a deep breath as the beep came and he left a quick message in reply. "Listen, Lyserg, it's me. Yoh. I…" Yoh took another breath as Hao rolled his eyes and mockingly mouthed, "Hyperventilation much?"

"I'm sorry if I said something to offend you," Yoh continued. "I didn't mean it, really…just…call me back or something." After he hung up, Hao's eyes sparkled with malice. "Has it occurred to you that maybe he had to go home for a legit reason? Maybe he wasn't affected at all by anything you said but you're just overreacting? Did you consider that?"

"Oooh…" Yoh chucked the phone at Hao, who caught it. "Why do you tell me these things after I'm messed up?"

"I'm the devil," Hao shrugged. "I do these kinds of things."

At that moment, the door to the onsen sounded with a soft knock. Yoh turned on the spot, along with the birds on his shoulders and head and Hao, the devil. Walking slowly to the door, Yoh opened it and his eyes widened slowly.

Lyserg was standing on his doorstep, a furious blush on his face. He was wearing what appeared to be the school-issued girls' uniform, long enough to be wholesome, short enough to hint at hidden seduction. He was even wearing knee socks.

"You…" Lyserg faltered, the embarrassment apparent in his voice. Yoh looked past him for a second and realized though Lyserg lived farther away, he didn't live far enough to have driven here. The Asakura doubted Lyserg would ask someone to drive him here in this outfit. So the greenette had just walked here? "You said you'd like someone who made a skirt look good." Yoh's focus shifted back to Lyserg, who was avoiding eye contact with him. "So…do I?"

"Um, I'd think this would be a good comeback time," Hao whispered, and without another word, whipped up a wind that sent the birds flying off, scattering loose feathers around. Hao laughed as he clutched a bird's leg and floated off into the distance. Lyserg shook his head to clear his eyes of the settling dust and Yoh took another breath before focusing in on a feather resting on the greenette's head. "Um…it looks fine," Yoh said awkwardly. "But you don't need to put on a skirt to make me like you."

Lyserg looked up, his green eyes showing a kind of relief. Yoh looked into these green eyes and leaned down close to the boy in front of him. Sacrificing his dignity for him deserved a bit of a reward, didn't it? However, as Yoh nearly captured Lyserg's lips, he brushed them slightly before pulling away, contently hearing the disappointed sound that had escaped the lips he nearly touched. Yoh looked at Lyserg, looking a tad forlorn before grasping his hand.

"Let's get you out of those clothes, why don't we?"

_I'll turn on the dime and spin you round_

_so you can shine, shine right now…_

_we'll even have a crowd_

_we'll make this purchase count…_

Owari

Note: another songfic! Fun with lyrics, cross-dressing, and more perversion! I was going to make this a drabshot, but then it became a bit too long. In my usual style of fluff, since Fire and Ice was a bit of a stretch for me.


End file.
